Dear Blake,

My husband and I are expecting our first child. We are over the moon about it, and have lots of support from family and friends near and far. My husband’s family lives in another state and would need to fly to visit us. His parents are separated, and elderly.

I love his mother dearly, but I have an issue with her best friend, “Myra.” Myra has always been passive-aggressive. She makes things difficult and makes rude, snide comments. My mother-in-law plans to travel to meet our new baby, but she wants Myra to be her travel companion.

After the stress and exhaustion of delivering a baby and any postpartum aftermath, plus the desire to keep our circle small due to COVID, I do not want to see Myra in the first few months after delivery. I have no issues with my mother-in-law, and don’t want to prohibit her from seeing her new grandbaby. But she refuses to travel alone. Am I going too far in saying I won’t be up for visiting with her snide best friend?

Signed, Ruth
From Columbus, Ohio

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Dear Ruth,

I agree with you, that you don’t need to have Myra anywhere near you, adding stress to you life. If I knew for sure that pouring hot water would cause her to melt like the witch in the Wizard of Oz, I’d suggest it. In the meantime, here are some other options. Tell Myra she can’t come near your child until you have her complete medical history, from today, all the way back when she was six months in her mother’s womb. Emphasize “no documents, no visit”. If you were to assault her, you’d never get convicted if there was at least one woman on the jury that has children. Or tell your mother-in-law to inform Myra, that you bought a pit bull that has been trained to tear apart anyone that offends you in any way, shape, or form. Add that you dog loves old brittle bones, and views them as chew toys. And lastly, contact security at the airport, tell them Myra is a wanted international terrorist, and TSA will probably detain her the duration of your mother-in-law’s visit… or until the feds take possession of her, and hopefully uses some “enhanced” interrogation tactics in an unspecified country. I hope this helps.