Dear Blake,

My mother, who lives with me, insists on keeping her window open several inches year-round. While I don’t mind so much in the winter because I know she tends to run hot, we clash in the summer because I need the windows and doors closed so I can run the air conditioning to optimal efficiency. She thinks keeping her window open is cooling her bedroom off and doesn’t understand what the problem is if she keeps her door to the rest of the house shut.

This issue has caused major arguments because it’s making my AC unit work harder than it needs to, not to mention I have allergies and my doctor has told me to keep the air on all summer long. This is a ranch-style home, and the temperature is kept at 70 degrees.

I don’t want to fight with her, but I feel disrespected since this is my house and she blatantly disregards my requests. Am I overreacting? Or does she need to be respectful of my home?

Signed, Krissy
From Lansing, Michigan

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Dear Krissy,

Your mother is being very unreasonable and selfish. So I would strongly urge you to stop viewing her as family, but instead deal with her in the same fashion as a mongoose deals with a snake. Here are some ideas. Get her a cardboard box and steak knife, and tell her she can cut all the holes in it she wants after you drop her off at a local tent city. Or, move from Lansing to Detroit, and no one in their right mind will keep their windows open there, unless they have an insurance policy that will cover your daily robberies. Lock her in her room, rivet the windows permanently shut, and place across them some bars. Then tell her she’s going to learn what it’s like to live in solitary confinement at a super max. Probably, the easiest thing to do is to simply tell her to agree to pay the extra amount she is costing on your monthly power bill. If she refuses, give her a 30 minute eviction notice. I hope this helps.

Blake