BREAKING NEWS – Santa Fe, New Mexico – The district attorney stated that he was very disappointed that he could not get an indictment against Wile E. Coyote on over 300 charges of attempted murder. The attorney for Wile E. Coyote said his client was joyful over the decision but could not appear in court, because he’s presently hanging on a small brittle branch near the top of a cliff in the desert, suspended nearly a 1000 feet above the ground.