BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – The American Bible Society has sent out this stern warning worldwide:

WARNING TO NON-CHRISTIANS: Please don’t believe in the vacation brochure that is being passed around all over the globe. It is from a travel agency that’s run by Satan. Contrary to what the brochure says, there will be NO fishing, water skiing, or swimming in the lake of fire!!! Also, if you know this is going to be your eternal destination, avoid bringing sun tan oil, because using it will make a bad situation much worst.