BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – President Obama announces that he soon plans on eliminating the high cost of printing cards for food stamps. He explained that sometime in 2015, all people who are on government assistance will have get a small mark placed on their right hand or forehead, that will be their personal code. Obama then added that his “revelation”, is because he feels he is superior to every president in the past, thus the people should have placed on them, the “mark of the best”.