BREAKING NEWS – Los Angeles, California – Los Angeles police opened an investigation into a woman’s claims that Bill Cosby molested her at the Playboy mansion, a department spokeswoman said. In response to the accusation, Hugh Hefner released the following statement about the comedian. “Bill Cosby has been a good friend for many years and the mere thought of these allegations is truly saddening. I would never tolerate this kind of behavior, regardless of who was involved.” He concluded by saying, that “As far as men drugging women, we have a very strict code of ethics at the Playboy Corporation, that we rape women with cameras, not pills”.