BREAKING NEWS – North Las Vegas, Nevada – Hillary Clinton’s attempt to appear to be ignorant of today’s technology probably won’t work critics say. When asked if she scrubbed her server by Ed Henry of Fox News, her response was “with a cloth?” According to an unnamed person in her camp, she plans to continue this charade when testifying in Congress in October, by alleging that she has been writing letters by hand and just heard of emails last week, she only uses rotary dial phones to make calls, and “GPS is theoretical science fiction Star Trek nonsense”.