BREAKING NEWS – Las Vegas, Nevada – Anderson Cooper issues a public apology for the disappointing ratings of the Democratic debate. A medic had to come in during the commercials, to insure he did not have any serious injury to his forehead after he banged it against a table when he dozed off. “It’s safe to assume that most of the viewers tuned in to see how many more blatant lies Hillary was going to tell”, said Cooper. “It would probably have drawn a bigger audience and been a lot more interesting if Biden was there. Her dishonesty, and the entertainment value of him being a complete ignoramus would have been a winning combination in my opinion.”
