BREAKING NEWS – Chicago, Illinois – Mayor Rahm Emanuel blames the Windy City’s crime uptick on officers second-guessing themselves. He doubled down by adding that Ferguson, Baltimore cases have left police “fetal”. September was Chicago’s deadliest month since 2002, with 60 homicides. Through Sept. 27, homicides and shooting incidents had risen 21 percent from the year-earlier period, Police Department numbers show. “I am not like that idiot mayor in Baltimore because I will back my cops” Rahm explained. “This is Chitown! And I don’t have a problem with law enforcement massaging a few skulls with nightsticks, because this often induces confessions and the flowing of other vital information of suspects that remain conscious.