Unconfirmed Breaking News
A (mis)trusted news source for over One 25th of a century

PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Chicago, Illinois – The Windy City’s murder rate dropped in 2018, but is still has a long…

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• April 18, 2019

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Chicago, Illinois – Adding fuel to the speculation that he is considering a presidential run in 2020…

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• October 29, 2018

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BREAKING NEWS – Chicago, Illinois – Chicago activists are demanding that Mayor Rahm Emanuel resign as they prepare for a…

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• August 3, 2018

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BREAKING NEWS – Chicago, Illinois – President Trump tweeted in defense of the Chicago police, saying they had “every right…

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• May 30, 2018

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Chicago, Illinois – Mayor Rham Emanuel just signed into law, dead people in cemeteries can no longer…

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• April 6, 2018

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BREAKING NEWS – Chicago, Illinois – Former Chicago Police Superintendent Garry McCarthy, a Democrat who said he was “thrown under…

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• March 27, 2018

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BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – In 2017 the NYPD announced a major milestone, ending the year…

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• March 23, 2018

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BREAKING NEWS – Chicago, Illinois – American Airlines has criticized a last-minute deal cut by Mayor Rahm Emanuel to expand…

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• March 1, 2018

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Breaking News – Menomonie, Wisconsin – A parent found a packet of meth among her child’s trick-or-treat Halloween candy. The…

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• November 1, 2017

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Chicago, Illinois – Chicago will sue the Trump administration over threats to withhold public safety grant money…

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• August 8, 2017

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BREAKING NEWS – Younstown, Ohio – While visiting the Buckeye State, President Donald Trump singled out Chicago once again for…

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• July 26, 2017

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Chicago, Illinois – Windy City Mayor Rahm Emanuel has now emphatically confirmed that he has no intention…

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• February 8, 2017

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Chicago, Illinois – Mayor Rahm Emanuel has written letters to the leaders of all the gangs in…

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• February 6, 2017

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Chicago, Illinois – President Trump tweeted that if Chicago is unable to reduce its homicide figures, he…

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• January 25, 2017

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – President-elect Donald Trump said Monday that if Mayor Rahm Emanuel can’t turn the tide…

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• January 4, 2017

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BREAKING NEWS – Chicago, Illinois – Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel says he has spoken to President-elect Donald Trump by telephone…

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• December 8, 2016

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BREAKING NEWS – Chicago, Illinois – According to a joint analysis by the FBI and the Department of Justice of…

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• September 9, 2016

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Chicago, Illinois – Mayor Rahm Emanuel is said to be outraged at Hillary Clinton and Elizabeth Warren…

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• July 19, 2016

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Chicago, Illinois – A nasty court fight between Star Wars creator George Lucas and Mayor Rahm Emanuel…

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• June 17, 2016

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Chicago, Illinois – Mayor of Chicago Rahm Emanuel is outraged at Spike Lee’s new movie called “Chiraq”to…

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• October 26, 2015

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