BREAKING NEWS – Minneapolis, Minnesota – Pillsbury announces that their former spokesman Poppin’ Fresh a.k.a. the Pillsbury Dough Boy has converted to Islam and quit the company. The FBI has confirmed they have discovered hundreds of emails he sent and received from Syria, Iran, and Afghanistan. They also said they are not sure of his current whereabouts, but they believe he left the United States and moved to somewhere in the Middle Yeast.
