BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – Women To Look Up To, a nonprofit organization, has created a Hillary Clinton tree topper. It is donning angelic wings, and the figurine is sold online for $108–$945 depending on the tree size. Several customers who have purchased the item have complained that within minutes of placing it on top of the pines, the tree bursted into flames, with them describing it as “an eerie fire looking like something straight out of hell”. The shaken customers also said as the tree burned, they heard a creepy angry maniacal female voice, screaming something about an election, in both English and in Russian.