BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – While speaking to a large crowd at the National Action Network, Al Sharpton whips the crowd into a frenzy after reading some scripture from the book of Acts in the bible.

“Let me begin,” said Sharpton as he began reading the bible.

“Now an angel of the Lord said to Philip, “Go south to the road—the desert road—that goes down from Jerusalem to Gaza.” So he started out, and on his way he met an Ethiopian, an important official in charge of all the treasury of the Kandake. This man had gone to Jerusalem to worship, and on his way home was sitting in his chariot reading the Book of Isaiah the prophet. The Spirit told Philip, “Go to that chariot and stay near it.”

Then Philip ran up to the chariot and heard the man reading Isaiah the prophet. “Do you understand what you are reading?” Philip asked. Acts 8:26-30”

“I have a major problem with this,” shouted Sharpton as the crowd cheered him on. “It is the first documented case of racial profiling, and it was sanctioned by the Almighty! God has some explaining to do! So, brothers and sisters, I am now demanding a boycott against every black church in America. And if anyone still wants to give their church money, I urge you to send it to me, and I will personally hand it to God when I get to heaven, providing he explains his ‘stop and frisk’ mindset, in regards to the Ethiopian brother that was minding his own darn business!”