BREAKING NEWS – New York, City – Accused Sinaloa Cartel drug lord Joaquin “El Chapo” Guzman is apparently playing the God card and is exercising his Catholic faith during his trial – though not everyone is buying it. According to an official source connected to the case, the drug kingpin has perhaps conveniently “found Jesus” in the almost two years since he was extradited from Mexico to the United States. Chapo’s attorneys are saying his conversion is real, and they said they base it on the fact that he regularly references the bible in regards to him crucifying the people that lead to his arrest.