BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – Members of Joe Biden’s inner circle are becoming increasingly convinced the Bernie Sanders’ campaign is behind at least one of the explosive accusations of physical misconduct recently leveled against the former vice president — and, in the words of one prominent backer, Biden is now “ready to kill Bernie.” Upon hearing this, the MMA is trying convince both men to settle their differences in a pay per view cage match, to be broadcasted live from a Washington, D.C. nursing home.
