BREAKING NEWS – Louisville, Kentucky – After a tense review period that lasted more than 20 minutes, after the apparent winning connections had already been interviewed on live television, the three stewards at Churchill Downs on Saturday made the difficult decision to disqualify Maximum Security for interfering with other horses around the final turn and gave the Kentucky Derby victory to the 65-1 shot Country House. In the 145-year history of the Derby, no other horse had lost a win for such an act. Bernie Sanders weighed in on the race, alleging it was the intervention of God that overturned the initial victory. “God did not want Maximum Security to win, because He knows that name relates to prison, and God wants inmates to vote,” the Vermont Senator explained. “And the Almighty gave the victory to Country House, because he wanted to remind Hillary Clinton that she lost in 2016 for ignoring all the rural communities in the Midwest.”
