BREAKING NEWS – Belfast, Ireland – Former secretary of state, senator and first lady Hillary Clinton has a new title to add to her resume, even if it’s not “president”: Chancellor of Queen’s University Belfast in Northern Ireland. She is the school’s 11th chancellor — the first woman to hold the position.

“Secretary Clinton has made a considerable contribution to Northern Ireland and as an internationally recognized leader will be an incredible advocate for Queen’s and an inspirational role model for the Queen’s community,” Stephen Prenter, chairman of the school’s senate, said in a statement posted on the school’s website. “But even if we would’ve given her this position in 2016, it would’ve taken more than our best leprechauns helping her for her to win the presidency in America, due to the stupidity of her emails, her monotone bland speeches, and to line her bottomless pockets through the Clinton Foundation, while systematically having any of her staff members executed that she believes has spoken to federal prosecutors.”