BREAKING NEWS – Charleston, South Carolina – “We have a criminal justice system today that is not only broken, it is racist,” Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.) said at the most recent debate. “So I do believe that on day one we will change the federal controlled substance act, which if you can believe it, now equates heroin with marijuana. What we are also going to do is move to expunge the records of those people arrested for possession of marijuana. And I’ll tell you what else we’re going to do. We’re going to provide help to the African-American, Latino, Native American community to start businesses to sell legal marijuana, because based on a recent in depth study from my staff, people need at the very least to have a slight buzz in order to embrace some of my policies promoting socialism… until they’re high enough to endorse my goals of communism.”
