BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – Former Vice President Joe Biden dashed Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders’ hopes of igniting a comeback and moved into a dominant position in the Democratic nomination battle with a run of impressive victories on Super Tuesday II. Sanders refused to speak at a rally after the losses over health concerns for the expected large gathering. Not because of the coronavirus, but because Sanders stated that he probably wouldn’t be able to resist the temptation of assaulting every young person in the audience that did not persuade more of their friends to get out and vote. “I didn’t want to put their health or lives at risk,” Sanders said in a tweet. “The amount of fatalities I would’ve caused, would’ve only been limited to the amount of young necks I could’ve squeezed before the Secret Service pried me off of those lazy entitled freeloading losers!”
