BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – Joe Biden is now insisting that presidential campaign rallies be limited to 100 people all the way up to election day. “Due to the coronavirus, I believe about one hundred people should be the max for rallies,” explained the former vice president. “President Trump has tens of thousands of people coming to his rallies. I am very well prepared to deal with the coronavirus, because rarely more than seventy-five people can be coerced to listen to my four minute speeches. But I think that number can reach triple digits if I start regularly speaking in complete sentences, so seventy-five will probably be my max.”
