BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – In a leaked email, Hunter Biden wrote to an unnamed friend that if after all the votes are counted, Trump wins, he’s leaving the country immediately.

“I keep my passport with me at all times, and I have a private jet all fueled up, with a pilot on stand by,” the son of the former vice president wrote. “I already have a really nice apartment set up for me in Beijing. And if my previous business partner starts talking to the feds, my dad will be moving into the spare bedroom.”