BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – After Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi’s original birth certificate has been bade public, she finally admitted that she is actually 186 years old. and now she refuses to wear her usual one inch of make-up in public. She said she has always been a democrat, and said she once debated Abraham Lincoln, accusing him of having “blatant bigotry” toward the southern states. Pelosi also said Lincoln refused to review an extensive study about the “thriving economy” in the south, presented by her then-boyfriend John Wilkes Booth.