BREAKING NEWS – Los Angeles, California – Reacting to recent media images of trash-strewn railroad tracks in Los Angeles – the result in part of thieves stealing from passing rail cars and discarding packaging – California Gov. Gavin Newsom showed up with a clean-up crew and vowed action.
“What has happened on this stretch of the Union Pacific Railroad is unacceptable,” Newsom told reporters. He said the area looked like a scene from “a Third World country,” according to FOX 11 of Los Angeles.
President Biden also weighed in on the actions of the thieves. “I have contacted the FBI regarding this criminal act,” he began. “I can’t prove it, but I have a feeling that Jesse James is behind this and I want him interrogated, immediately! Initially I thought Butch Cassidy was responsible for stealing from these trains, until I found out that Paul Newman died in 2008.”