BREAKING NEWS – McLean, Virginia – The candy manufacturer Mars Incorporated announced that its iconic M&M’s characters will be reimagined and redesigned in order to promote a “more dynamic and progressive world.”

“At Mars we believe that in the world we want tomorrow, society is inclusive,” the company said in a statement. “And, as one of our most iconic brands, M&M’S is announcing a new global commitment to create a world where everyone feels they belong and it will be done through footwear of our animated characters. Some of the changes will include the blue one who will be wearing blue sneakers that will represent people with ‘the blues’ reflecting their issues of being bipolar. The green one will be wearing green shoes to represent vegans. And the brown one will be wearing Air Jordans for obvious reasons.”