BREAKING NEWS – Richmond, Virginia – Virginia’s newly sworn-in Attorney General Jason Miyares announced investigations into the Virginia Parole Board and Loudoun County Public Schools within hours of taking office.

“One of the reasons Virginians get so fed up with government is the lack of transparency – and that’s a big issue here,” Miyares wrote. “The Virginia Parole Board broke the law when they let out murders, rapists, and cop killers early on their sentences without notifying the victims.

“I don’t think the victims should’ve been notified,” stated Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez in a tweet. “Why stress out the victims informing them that their assailants are now free? If their assailants plans on committing a vengeful act against their accusers that testified against them, why subject the victims to be up all hours of the night, concerned about an imminent attack? I think the Virginia Parole Board did the right thing by saying nothing, causing the victims not to worry… until their blocks get knocked off.”