BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – Dr. Anthony Fauci, director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, tested positive for COVID-19, according to a statement from the National Institutes of Health.

A statement from the NIH says that Fauci tested positive for COVID-19 through a rapid antigen test and is “currently experiencing mild symptoms.” He has not been in close contact with President Biden, is fully vaccinated and has received two booster shots, according to the statement.

“Dr. Fauci will isolate and continue to work from his home,” the statement reads.

“He will continue to work from home and attempt to figure out what conservative or republican to blame for contracting COVID-19, when he’s not sobbing uncontrollably realizing that his reputation has sunk even further into the murky depths of the average big city’s raw sewage.”