BREAKING NEWS – Forte dei Marmi, Italy – A month after receiving a DUI driving home from a California winery, Paul Pelosi and his wife, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif., jetted off to the beaches of Italy over Independence Day.

The Pelosis vacationed at the Alpemare Beach Club in Forte dei Marmi, located just outside of Florence, as America celebrated her birthday and Americans endured sky-high gas prices and inflation.

According to an anonymous member of Nancy’s staff, the couple went there so Paul could privately take lessons on how to drive safely while being extremely intoxicated, and if caught, learn the basics on how to bribe California police officers and any U.S. media that picks up on the story.