BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – President Joe Biden is slated to sign into law CHIPS (Creating Helpful Incentives to Produce Semiconductors for America Act). The bill further includes $10 billion for investments in regional innovation and technology hubs across the U.S.

“Chips are very important,” explained Biden. “That’s why I don’t mind investing all this money into potatoes. I am a little disappointed that Kringles and Lays didn’t contact me to thank me. But the importance of further developing this national snack cannot be understated.”