BREAKING NEWS – Rockville, Maryland – At Richard Montgomery High School in, President Biden began to sing as if he was in opera, to show “young white kids” that they can pursue a career in music, just like black kids.

“Opera can be difficult to sing, but you can do it,” he said while catching his breath after hitting a high note. “Aspiring vocally gifted black kids focus exclusively on gansta rap, and white kids from single parent homes always want to play in a heavy metal bands. However, women in Italy are the best singers in opera, because they are trained to scream by giving them C-sections with no anesthesia.”