BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – Manhattan congressional candidate Mike Itkis released a sex tape in a bizarre move to demonstrate his commitment to his “sex positive approach.” A 53-year-old cybersecurity expert, Itkis is an independent candidate running in New York’s 12th district, where he is a long shot bid to unseat Rep. Jerry Nadler.

Itkis has focused his campaign on “defining consent”. According to an anonymous source in his camp, his platform is privately getting praise from local Catholic priests, while parents in the area are considering hiring body guards for their altar boys.