BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – The Biden administration unveiled a proposal to reintroduce grizzly bear populations in the federally-managed North Cascades National Park in northern Washington.

“The National Parks Service and Fish and Wildlife Service should end this process immediately,” said Congressional Western Caucus Chairman Dan Newhouse, R-Wash. “Time and again, our communities have spoken to express staunch opposition to the introduction of these apex predators, which would be detrimental to our families, wildlife, and livestock alike, “I’m beyond disappointed that the Biden Administration is ignoring our concerns.”

President Biden responded to Newhouse’s concerns in a tweet. “I don’t believe that Congressman Newhouse is looking at the big picture,” explained Biden. “Grizzlies could help end all the congestion at the campgrounds by eating drunken and/or slow running vacationers. This also assures that the only people that camp are physically fit and can sprint if being chased. And even if those type of people are caught by the bear, at least the grizzly won’t be eating a whole lot of unhealthy fat.”