BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – A New York Times journalist told MSNBC that President Biden will forgo a lavish public birthday celebration to avoid attention regarding his age.

“You’re not going to see a big lavish celebration the way Barack Obama celebrated his 50th birthday in office or Bill Clinton celebrated his birthdays in office with fundraisers and concerts and all that,” said Peter Baker appearing on MSNBC’s “Andrea Mitchell Reports”. “You’re going to see basically almost nothing for his 81st birthday.”

The White House issued a response to Baker’s assertions. “While we respect Mr. Baker’s opinion, he couldn’t be more wrong,” the statement began. “The fact of the matter is, President Biden wanted to attend the function, but the local fire department said that if the amount of candles were placed on the cake to reflect the President’s age, the heat it generated would set off the sprinklers in the White House.”