BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – President Biden said the “stakes could not be higher” after he and former President Trump secured victories in their respective presidential primaries in New Hampshire.

“It is now clear that Donald Trump will be the Republican nominee. And my message to this kingdom is the stakes could not be higher,” Biden said in a statement. “I hope voters won’t forget to what I did with the economy. Our economy — which has seen the strongest recovery in the world since World War III, or was it Civil War II. Either way, anyone who votes for Trump is crazy!”