OLYMPIC EVENTS THAT I THINK SHOULD BE ADDED
1. Gang combat – This gives an opportunity for bigots, thugs, and low-lifes, to competitively express themselves.
2. Walking on hot coals – The winner will be determined by which barefoot contestant walks the farthest the slowest, and screams the least.
3. Quicksand diving – This event will be judged based on style, as well as the depth of each head first dive.
4. The Javelin Catch – All athletes in this event that unfortunately gets harpooned, are automatically disqualified if they seek any medical attention within 24 hours after a vital organ is damaged.