BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – Mike Bloomberg’s shuttered presidential campaign is dismissing staffers across the country, despite extending guarantees of being paid through the November election when they were hired regardless of whether he remained in the race or not. “An unnamed staffer close to Bloomberg put it bluntly. “This is an act of vengeance,” he explained. “Bloomberg was so irritated that President Trump frequently insulted him about his height, that he made multiple requests to the taller members of his campaign to participate in a complicate surgical procedure that they all turned down, specifically leg transplants.”