BREAKING NEWS – Wilmington, Delaware – President-elect Joe Biden is warning that the Trump administration’s effort to vaccinate Americans against the coronavirus “is falling behind, far behind.”
Speaking in his hometown after meeting with advisers, Biden pledged “a more aggressive effort” to get the pace of vaccinations “back on track.”
“I would be ten times more aggressive than President Trump,” explained Biden. “I would have thousands of trained staff driving all around the country in convertibles with the top down. And they would be using blowguns with darts carrying the COVID-19 vaccine. Thus anyone walking down the street that looked sickly, would be vaccinated from a drive-by whether they wanted it or not. And for large crowds, I’m going to ask the NRA if they can create a machine gun blowgun, that can hit multiple targets that are attempting to escape.”