BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – CNN announced that it is suspending its star anchor Chris Cuomo as the network evaluates his conduct following stunning revelations from the New York Attorney General’s investigation into his brother, ousted Democratic Gov. Andrew Cuomo.
“The New York Attorney General’s office released transcripts and exhibits that shed new light on Chris Cuomo’s involvement in his brother’s defense,” CNN began its statement Tuesday evening. “The documents, which we were not privy to before their public release, raise serious questions. When Chris admitted to us he had offered advice to his brother’s staff, he broke our rules and we acknowledged that publicly. But we also appreciated the unique position he was in and understood his need to put family first, job second, and blabber mouth tattle tale sexually inhibited women, third.”