BREAKING NEWS – Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania – President Biden stopped by the location of a bridge collapse in Pittsburgh Friday afternoon during an official trip to Pennsylvania. The bridge has become a symbol of worsening infrastructure in the city and the nation, and Biden has used the destruction of the bridge in his rhetoric since.

“I’ve been coming to Pittsburgh a long time – and as a former Pennsylvanian. But I didn’t realize there are literally more bridges in Pittsburgh than any other city in the world,” Biden said at the scene of the incident.

“I knew there were a lot of bridges – I had no idea of that,” stated Biden. “And we’re gonna fix them all. We’re even going to build some new ones that I plan on suggesting, including bridges from San Francisco to Honolulu, from Boston to London, and from NASA in Houston to Mars, eliminating building expensive spaceships.”