BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – In a rare case of bipartisanship, Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi and Senator John Boehner, jointly draft a letter to 60 Minutes. The letter was in response to a recent story on 60 Minutes, alleging that both of them are involved in insider trading. The letter stated in part:

“Due to the ever increasing level stress involved in our high profile jobs, we feel we should be financially compensated for our efforts. If we both act on factual stock market information that we legally acquired, and it enriches us while simultaneously screwing over the public, we emphatically find it acceptable.”