BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – CNN has been hemorrhaging viewers since President Biden took office, with ratings down more than 50 percent in multiple categories since Inauguration Day. 

The liberal network spent years attacking former President Donald Trump and the network thrived during his final days in office amid a brief post-election spike. CNN averaged 2.2 million viewers during the first three weeks of 2021, but it has averaged just one million viewers since Biden took office, a staggering decline of 54 percent.

CNN’s major viewership decline would typically be the sort of thing to alarm staffers, but Don Lemon said he cares more about who is in the White House than the success of his network.

“No. I’m not worried about it,” Lemon said. “So if that means that cable news ratings go down? Aww. So I’m not really that concerned about it. I would prefer that my ratings go down and Trump not be in office than my ratings be sky-high and him be there. Besides, eventually there will be another republican in office, and this network at that time will continue to suppress and hide his or hers worthwhile meaningful accomplishments, while repeatedly lying to our viewers every chance we get. That’s when our ratings will rise, as millions of gullible democrats will once again be clamoring for whatever nonsense we can fabricate to fill their misguided empty heads with… count on it!”