A cheetah is the fastest land animal on the planet. It can go from 0 – 45 in 2.5 seconds, and this hot rod cat […]
Wacky Weekend Questions – Suppose you had a 90 year old grandmother whose husband was verbally abusive to her for more than 70 years. Would you object to her taking kick boxing lessons to get even with your grandfather, if he was in poor health and couldn’t adequately defend himself?
COMMENTARY: If I genuinely tried to talk her out of it and couldn’t, I’d definitely sell tickets.
Life through Blake’s eyes…
When I was in the Air Force, I was working in a low level position and I felt I should be in a position where […]
Wacky Weekend Questions – If you dropped out of school, can you still make an educated guess?
COMMENTARY: I graduated from a high school in Chicago. Unfortunately, their diplomas aren’t recognized in other states (and most parts of Illinois).
Wacky Weekend Questions – Does forcing prisoners at Guantanamo Bay to listen to the voices of any of the Kardashian women, constitute torture as defined by the Geneva Convention?
COMMENTARY: If you force the dangerous misguided terrorists at Guantanamo Bay listen to their voices, within ten minutes, they will be begging to be water […]
Life through Blake’s eyes…
I recently contacted every auto maker in Detroit and told them I told that I came up with a new idea regarding airbags. This innovative concept […]
Wacky Weekend Questions – Suppose the person that you were involved with dumped you, and then told you that they fell in love with someone else who was younger and much more attractive. If they gave you the news as they were walking backwards toward an empty elevator shaft, would you warn them not to take another step, or pull out your camera phone and film their last moments alive?
COMMENTARY: If they didn’t scream as they fell down the elevator shaft, I would probably add that sound effect later, and then post it on […]
Life through Blake’s eyes…
I repeatedly told my grandmother not to buy anything without me, so no one will take advantage of her, but she did it anyway. I […]
Life through Blake’s eyes…
I recently went to a furniture store to buy something for my bedroom. After I finally found something I liked, the salesman said he’d have […]
Wacky Weekend Questions – Would you support a law that allow parents to return their newborn babies to the hospital within 90 days, with a full refund of their medical costs, no questions asked?
COMMENTARY: I’m glad this wasn’t a law when I was born, because I would have wound up getting raised by doctors and nurses.
Life through Blakes eyes…
About a month ago, I was hiking with a friend a mine through the Sonoran Desert in Arizona, on a trip that I had been […]
Wacky Weekend Questions – Do you think you should be responsible for your mother’s medical costs, if her back was broken, shortly after you stepped on crack?
COMMENTARY: I wonder if something this ridiculous is covered by ObamaCare.
Life through Blake’s eyes…
I played a joke on a close friend of mine that I drove to the airport. When he wasn’t looking, I placed in his luggage, […]
Wacky Weekend Questions – Would you spend an extra $100.00 on a new car to get an ejector seat, that could toss passengers in the air up to 40 feet?
COMMENTARY: I would spend the extra money under one condition. And that would be, only if I was still married.
Life through Blake’s eyes…
When I was visiting northern Nevada, I drove passed a dog park. But instead of there being a lot of four-legged animals out there, it […]
Wacky Weekend Questions – Should pastors that die and go to heaven receive unemployment checks upon their arrival?
COMMENTARY: There are certain televangelists that I don’t think will be up there, because they would try to game the system and get workman’s comp […]
Wacky Weekend Questions – Ok women, be honest. What do you prefer that a man does? Lie through his teeth, or lie his butt off?
COMMENTARY: Unfortunately, those are usually the only two options. Sorry.
Life through Blake’s eyes…
Last week, I was flirting with this really attractive lady at a party. After a few minutes of making her laugh, I told her my […]
Life through Blake’s eyes…
I have now developed a very nasty attitude towards my son. For Father’s Day, I appreciated that he came over early this morning just to […]
Wacky Weekend Questions – If you were pretty sure that a loved one that died is going to hell, would you suggest that they get cremated so they could get used to the intense heat?
COMMENTARY: Keep in mind, that if you later feel guilty about cremating them, you can always put some ice cubes in the urn.
Life through Blake’s eyes…
I was about to enter a nightclub, when one of the employees stopped me and started telling me about his personal problems. He went on […]
Wacky Weekend Questions – If you thought it would make your one week old baby look better in a studio portrait, would you have him/her fitted with a full set of dentures?
COMMENTARY: I could understand hair extensions at that age, but I think dentures might be a bit much.
Wacky Weekend Questions – Suppose you did a background check on someone you were dating and felt you were falling for. Would you end the relationship if you discovered that they had been accused of being a vampire, they never stand in front of a mirror, and you often notice them staring at your neck?
COMMENTARY: If they also graduated from the University of Transylvania, I’ll probably seek a restraining order too.
Life through Blake’s eyes…
Out of curiosity one time, I went online to see if they actually had a church of Satan. I found one and called them. When […]
Wacky Weekend Questions – Would you support a law that states that an alleged bank robber could not be prosecuted, unless the bank can prove that the accused thief had no intention of paying the money back in regular installments?
COMMENTARY: Sounds fair to me. And they should also be given the option of filing bankruptcy, to prevent harassing phone calls from banks and or […]
Life through Blake’s eyes…
The other day, I bumped into a German woman that I used to date. She told me that she dumped me because I would never […]
Wacky Weekend Questions – What is the maximum sticks of dynamite that can be placed under an ex-spouse’s pillow, where they can still be identified through dental records?
COMMENTARY: If you are a veteran with combat experience, please replace the word “dynamite” in the question, with hand grenades.
Life through Blake’s eyes…
I came up with a brilliant idea for a new restaurant. It’s fast food, for people that are fasting. And because I don’t have to […]
Wacky Weekend Questions – How would you feel if you wound up in hell, and down there they had dial up internet service and only basic cable?
COMMENTARY: I think if people knew for sure that was an accurate description of hell, every Sunday, churches would be overflowing with new believers.
Life through Blake’s eyes…
One of my closest friends that I’ve had for years is Jewish. He’s like a brother to me, but I will NEVER play the game […]
Life through Blake’s eyes…
I was hiking alone in a dense forest in Washington state, when a beaver crossed my path. We both froze in our tracks , and […]
Wacky Weekend Questions – Do you agree with me, that hitting someone in the face with a pie is still pretty funny, or do you feel that my mother has every right to be mad at me and I owe her an apology?
COMMENTARY: The last thing I remember her saying while I was quickly leaving her house was, “How do you turn the safety off on this […]
Wacky Weekend Questions – What was the worst movie you’ve ever seen?
COMMENTARY: The movie “Bewitched” with Will Ferrell was so bad, that I threw my popcorn on the floor, poured my Coke on top of that […]
Life through Blake’s eyes…
This lady that I have been trying to get with a date finally said “yes”, but only if I dressed a certain way. Initially, I […]
Wacky Weekend Questions – Do you feel that three colors in a stoplight are enough?
COMMENTARY: No. Here’s a few more: Blue – Stop texting you idiot!!! Orange – Women put on some make up, so you don’t scare the […]
Life through Blake’s eyes…
A desire I’ve had ever since I was a little boy was to go to Nova Scotia. So in my late twenties, I went there on […]
Life through Blake’s eyes…
I don’t drink and I rarely go to bars, but I went last week with a friend of mine. Something I know now, is that […]
Wacky Weekend Questions – What would be the top speed you would go, if you could toss an ex out of a speeding car?
COMMENTARY: For me, it would be the maximum speed of a top fuel dragster (with a tail wind).
Life through Blake’s eyes…
My cousin told me, that his new girlfriend wanted him to take her to see “The Avengers”. He told her that he had a big problem […]
Wacky Weekend Questions – What is the most common age for teenagers, when parents can’t stand the sight of these bone-headed disrespectful morons?
COMMENTARY: The most common age by my observation and experience, is any number that has “teen” in it. If they still are living home after […]
Wacky Weekend Questions – For $100,000.00, would you let a dentist pull out every other tooth in your mouth, and it had to remain that way for one year?
COMMENTARY: I would do it in a heartbeat. I would also make some more money in October, using my smile as model of how to […]
Life through Blake’s eyes…
About a month ago, I played a joke on a therapist in my neighborhood. She had the sign “Therapist”, in front of her office. So […]
Life through Blake’s eyes…
After all these years, my ex-wife has finally forgiven me for being such a lousy husband. She told me that she personally organized a social […]
Wacky Weekend Questions – To unclog our prisons and criminal courts, would you support a law that would execute criminals sentenced to death, on the same business day they are convicted?
COMMENTARY: That works for me, except if any executions have to take place after normal business hours, it should be postponed until the next day. […]
Life through Blake’s eyes…
I am now accepting donations from people that will help me lobby to pass a law, which will make it illegal for people to use […]
Wacky Weekend Questions – What personality trait in people really turns you off?
COMMENTARY: For me, I don’t like being anywhere near people that have a lot of pride. And I’m proud to say I don’t have this […]
Wacky Weekend Questions – If a brilliant lawyer is able to get a client acquitted even though all the evidence shows that he/she was guilty, should the judge be allowed to post the attorney’s home address, so angry citizens can go to his residence after they’ve formed a well organized lynch mob?
COMMENTARY: I never considered such an idea… until O.J. Simpson got acquitted.
Life through Blake’s eyes…
I had the strangest experience ever in my life, one evening a few months when I was in a Gulf Station. A man walked in […]