BREAKING NEWS – Las Vegas, Nevada – Casinos all over Sin City are now accepting wagers on what will happen in the democratic debates in late June. Here are the current betting odds:

Cory Booker – 32-1 he’ll say that his face alone will garnish the support of non-racist skinheads as well as people who love coconuts

Pete Buttigieg – 33-1 he’ll admit that his “wooden” appearance is because he used to be a marionette puppet that came to life, and he once had a crush on Pinocchio

Kamala Harris – 18-1 that she’ll allege only a sexist male will oppose any of her policies… that most women already oppose

Bill de Blasio – 8-1 that he’ll promise if elected president, he will easily unite this country… against him

Beto O’Rourke – 9-1 that while waving his arms wildly when he speaks as he commonly does, he accidentally put someone’s eye out

Bernie Sanders – 4-1 that his microphone picks up the sound of his bones creaking when he moves

Elizabeth Warren – 22-1 she’ll allege she can read two languages, with the second one being smoke signals

Joe Biden – 3-1 in his opening remarks he’ll request people not to hold against him some of the stupid things he said in the past, and the stupid things he’ll say during the debate