BREAKING NEWS – Des Moines, Iowa – Former Secretary of State John Kerry — one of Joe Biden’s highest-profile endorsers — was overheard on the phone at a Des Moines hotel explaining what he would have to do to enter the presidential race amid “the possibility of Bernie Sanders taking down the Democratic Party — down whole.”

Sitting in the lobby restaurant of the Renaissance Savery hotel, Kerry was overheard by an NBC News analyst saying “Someone has to stop that grumpy old lunatic. I wish the election was sooner because Bid is getting progressively stupider, and with him I didn’t think it was possible. I might be able to give Trump a run for his money, but I still can’t get passed the fact the so many voters are rightfully turned off, because I am so freakin’ ugly.”