BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – Hillary Clinton issued a warning for Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden, urging the former vice president to not concede defeat on the night of the Nov. 3 election — no matter the circumstances.

“Joe Biden should not concede under any circumstances,” Clinton said. “Because I think this is going to drag out, and eventually, I do believe he will win, if we don’t give an inch and if we are as focused and relentless as the other side is. I conceded on election night because President Obama advised me to, and since then I have refused to take advice from any black person, especially the super predators. I could’ve won because I was only about seventy delegates behind with about ten delegates up for grabs. And because I won the popular vote, I should’ve placed my desk into the Oval Office directly across from Trump, and dared that mentally unstable sexist monster to attempt to remove me, who is the rightful heir to the throne!”