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Unconfirmed Breaking News

PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS (ASSUMING YOU LIKE REALLY BAD ADVICE) ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

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Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminApril 18, 2019

BREAKING NEWS – Chicago, Illinois – The Windy City’s murder rate dropped in 2018, but is still has a long way to go. It may […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminOctober 29, 2018

BREAKING NEWS – Chicago, Illinois – Adding fuel to the speculation that he is considering a presidential run in 2020 by getting involved in a […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminAugust 3, 2018

BREAKING NEWS – Chicago, Illinois – Chicago activists are demanding that Mayor Rahm Emanuel resign as they prepare for a major anti-violence protest against the […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminMay 30, 2018

BREAKING NEWS – Chicago, Illinois – President Trump tweeted in defense of the Chicago police, saying they had “every right to legally protest,” days after […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminApril 6, 2018

BREAKING NEWS – Chicago, Illinois – Mayor Rham Emanuel just signed into law, dead people in cemeteries can no longer vote more than three times […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminMarch 27, 2018

BREAKING NEWS – Chicago, Illinois – Former Chicago Police Superintendent Garry McCarthy, a Democrat who said he was “thrown under the bus” when he was […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminMarch 23, 2018

BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – In 2017 the NYPD announced a major milestone, ending the year with fewer than 300 homicides […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminMarch 1, 2018

BREAKING NEWS – Chicago, Illinois – American Airlines has criticized a last-minute deal cut by Mayor Rahm Emanuel to expand O’Hare International Airport, saying it […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminNovember 1, 2017

Breaking News – Menomonie, Wisconsin – A parent found a packet of meth among her child’s trick-or-treat Halloween candy. The parent turned the small packet […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminAugust 8, 2017

BREAKING NEWS – Chicago, Illinois – Chicago will sue the Trump administration over threats to withhold public safety grant money from sanctuary cities, escalating a […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminJuly 26, 2017

BREAKING NEWS – Younstown, Ohio – While visiting the Buckeye State, President Donald Trump singled out Chicago once again for the violence plaguing the city. […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminFebruary 8, 2017

BREAKING NEWS – Chicago, Illinois – Windy City Mayor Rahm Emanuel has now emphatically confirmed that he has no intention of working with Donald Trump […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminFebruary 6, 2017

BREAKING NEWS – Chicago, Illinois – Mayor Rahm Emanuel has written letters to the leaders of all the gangs in Chicago, often underscoring several words […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminJanuary 25, 2017

BREAKING NEWS – Chicago, Illinois – President Trump tweeted that if Chicago is unable to reduce its homicide figures, he will send in “the Feds” […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminJanuary 4, 2017

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – President-elect Donald Trump said Monday that if Mayor Rahm Emanuel can’t turn the tide on Chicago’s soaring murder rate, […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminDecember 8, 2016

BREAKING NEWS – Chicago, Illinois – Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel says he has spoken to President-elect Donald Trump by telephone and mentioned Chicago’s status as […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminSeptember 9, 2016

BREAKING NEWS – Chicago, Illinois – According to a joint analysis by the FBI and the Department of Justice of the current record setting pace […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminJuly 19, 2016

BREAKING NEWS – Chicago, Illinois – Mayor Rahm Emanuel is said to be outraged at Hillary Clinton and Elizabeth Warren in regards to them campaigning […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminJune 17, 2016

BREAKING NEWS – Chicago, Illinois – A nasty court fight between Star Wars creator George Lucas and Mayor Rahm Emanuel over a proposed art museum. […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminOctober 26, 2015

BREAKING NEWS – Chicago, Illinois – Mayor of Chicago Rahm Emanuel is outraged at Spike Lee’s new movie called “Chiraq”to be released in 2016, which […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminOctober 23, 2015

BREAKING NEWS – Chicago, Illinois – Mayor Rahm Emanuel blames the Windy City’s crime uptick on officers second-guessing themselves. He doubled down by adding that […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminJuly 2, 2015

BREAKING NEWS – Chicago, Illinois – Chicago Public Schools managed to make a required $634 million payout to its teacher pension fund hours before the […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminFebruary 23, 2015

BREAKING NEWS – Chicago, Illinois –For the second consecutive year, the Windy City tops the 2013 Bed Bug Cities List, released by pest control leader Orkin. […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminDecember 22, 2014

BREAKING NEWS – Chicago, Illinois – The teenage son of Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel was attacked and robbed outside his family’s home on the city’s […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminAugust 25, 2014

BREAKING NEWS – Chicago, Illinois – Mayor Rahm Emanuel has promised a ticker tape parade for the Little League team from Chicago that made it […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminJune 16, 2014

BREAKING NEWS – Chicago, Illinois – The installation of 20-foot-tall letters spelling out T-R-U-M-P on the side of the billionaire’s gleaming Chicago skyscraper has triggered […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminApril 30, 2014

BREAKING NEWS – Chicago, Illinois – The Chicago City Council will soon decide whether to ban the use of plastic bags at most stores in […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminSeptember 24, 2013

BREAKING NEWS – Chicago, Illinois – Mayor Rahm Emanuel is now stating that their annual policy of giving $100.00 gift certificates to Chicago residents for […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminJuly 5, 2013

BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – Civil rights activist Al Sharpton, announces that he plans on moving to Chicago in the near […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminJune 20, 2012

BREAKING NEWS – Chicago, Illinois – Due to the amount of people recently killed, Chicago now has the highest murder rate in America. Mayor Rahm […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminNovember 22, 2011

BREAKING NEWS – Chicago, Illinois – Mayor Rahm Emanuel states that he plans on cleaning up Chicago politics and to change the city’s corrupt reputation. […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminJuly 27, 2011

BREAKING NEWS – Chicago, Illinois – Using an innovative idea to fight crime, Mayor Rahm Emanuel passes a new controversial city law that mandates all […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminFebruary 25, 2011

BREAKING NEWS – Chicago, Illinois – Former White House chief of staff Rahm Emanuel was elected mayor of Chicago, easily overwhelming five rivals to take […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminJanuary 28, 2011

BREAKING NEWS – Chicago, Illinois – The Illinois Supreme Court unanimously put Rahm Emanuel back in the race for Chicago mayor after a lower court […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminJanuary 25, 2011

BREAKING NEWS – Chicago, Illinois – An appeals court in Chicago orders that Rahm Emanuel’s name be removed from the ballot to run for mayor […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminOctober 29, 2010

BREAKING NEWS – Chicago, Illinois – In a newly discovered letter written by the controversial Reverend Wright, he states that he felt President Obama threw him […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminOctober 11, 2010

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – Former White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel was seen in tears during a press conference. He began crying […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminOctober 4, 2010

BREAKING NEWS – Chicago, Illinois – The CEO of U-Haul sends former White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel a thank you card and a […]

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