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PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS (ASSUMING YOU LIKE REALLY BAD ADVICE) ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

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Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminSeptember 30, 2021

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, D-N.Y., has diminished the chance of a successful primary run against New York Democratic Sen. Chuck […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminAugust 2, 2021

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – President Biden is pictured requesting a reporter’s phone wanting to use their GPS, because he got lost and couldn’t […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminAugust 2, 2021

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – President Biden is pictured requesting a reporter’s phone wanting to use their GPS, because he got lost and couldn’t […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminMay 19, 2021

BREAKING NEWS – Detroit, Michigan – President Biden and Democratic Rep. Rashida Tlaib engaged in a tense, roughly eight-minute heated conversation on the airport tarmac […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminMay 17, 2021

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – A program created after 9/11 to protect the flying public is being abused by Congress, according to an association […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminDecember 9, 2020

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – Sen. Bernie Sanders, I-Vt., criticized Democratic leaders for getting behind a smaller $908 billion coronavirus relief package after rejecting […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminNovember 27, 2020

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – Supporters of defunding the police say they are “not going away” just because Joe Biden will be the next […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminOctober 6, 2020

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – An email leaked by DNC Chair Tom Perez displayed his intense degree of frustration, after doctors at Walter Reed […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminSeptember 29, 2020

BREAKING NEWS – Akron, Ohio – The Secret Service detained Joe Biden and was forced to sedate him until his campaign staffers arrived, after he […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminAugust 13, 2020

BREAKING NEWS – Delaware, Dover – Joe Biden appeared out of the familiarity of his basement after nominating Kamala Harris as his running mate. Feeling […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminJune 22, 2020

BREAKING NEWS – Yeadon, Pennsylvania – Suspicions continue to grow on the real reason Joe Biden is wearing a mask. According to an unnamed member […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminJune 19, 2020

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – Former Vice President Joe Biden is now leaning farther to the left on what he’ll do if elected, regarding […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminOctober 24, 2019

BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton is inserting herself into the political narrative once again because […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminJune 11, 2019

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – Hillary Clinton is being accused of stealing furniture from the State Department. “Early in Clinton’s tenure as secretary of […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminNovember 9, 2018

BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – Sunny Hostin, a co-host on ABC News’ “The View, waded into the controversy surrounding the White […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminSeptember 21, 2017

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – During an interview with NPR’s Terry Gross, Hillary Clinton said she wouldn’t rule out challenging the results of the […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminAugust 18, 2017

BREAKING NEWS – Jefferson City, Missouri – Missouri State Senator Maria Chappelle-Nadal has now called for the assassination of President Trump. “I hope Trump is […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminFebruary 16, 2017

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – Leaked classified documents shows that when Bill Clinton was in office, he was buying sexy lingerie for his mistresses […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminJanuary 30, 2017

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – A Denver-based Secret Service agent who reportedly suggested that she would rather go to jail than take a bullet […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminJanuary 26, 2017

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – A special agent-in-charge with the United States Secret Service is not afraid to use social media to voice her […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminDecember 27, 2016

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – President Obama is seen nervously peeping behind corners after exiting the Oval Office. According to an unnamed Secret Service […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminNovember 18, 2016

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – Hillary Clinton’s shocking appearance since she made her concession speech after her stunning loss to Donald Trump, has her […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminNovember 15, 2016

BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – Michael Moore showed up at Trump Tower last weekend, demanding a meeting with President-elect Donald Trump. […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminNovember 10, 2016

BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – Because of Hillary Clinton’s devastating loss, her plan to give her victory speech at the Javits […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminAugust 10, 2016

BREAKING NEWS – Las Vegas, Nevada – Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton had a quick response on when an animal rights demonstration broke out during […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminJune 14, 2016

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – An ex-Secret Service officer’s forthcoming book on Democratic presidential front-runner Hillary Clinton reportedly claims she has a “volcanic” leadership […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminMay 26, 2016

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – A leaked memo from Hillary Clinton’s campaign has revealed her plan if she is indicted by the U.S. Justice […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminMarch 31, 2015

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – The Secret Service decided to continue their policy that their agents do not have to directly at Secretary of […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminOctober 24, 2014

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – Another man was apprehended after he cleared the White House fence Wednesday night, the latest security breach at a […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminOctober 6, 2014

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – An unnamed source from the Secret Service has stated that it is President Obama’s fault that intruder Omar Gonzalez […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminOctober 1, 2014

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – The Secret Service Director Julia Pierson is now under fire for misleading the public regarding the recent fence jumper […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminAugust 6, 2014

BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – A forthcoming book that claims to give a behind-the-scenes look at the people the Secret Service […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminMarch 28, 2014

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – Three Secret Service agents on President Obama’s detail were sent home from the Netherlands after apparently spending a night […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminNovember 21, 2013

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – The Secret Service had to intervene after a shoving match began between President Obama and Bill Clinton. The physical […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminOctober 24, 2012

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – In the Oval Office, President Obama tries to remain calm while talking to Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. He […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminOctober 16, 2012

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – The Secret Service Director Mark Sullivan, gives an official response to why they won’t allow President Obama and Mitt […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminSeptember 5, 2012

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – President Obama is seen signing an executive order which limits the amount of times Vice President Joe Biden can […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminAugust 16, 2012

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – At a congressional hearing, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton states that she is still undecided regarding speaking at the […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminApril 26, 2012

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – President Obama states that this latest scandal of Secret Service agents involved in prostitution, is a compelling reason for […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminApril 19, 2012

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – The Secret Service Director Mark Sullivan, states the he is appalled at the scandal, which began after one of […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminApril 18, 2012

BREAKING NEWS – Washington D.C. – The eleven Secret Service agents that were sent home for being involved with prostitutes in Colombia, are now demanding […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminApril 17, 2012

BREAKING NEWS – Cartagena, Colombia – Approximately a dozen Secret Service agents covering President Obama in Colombia for a leaders summit, were sent back to the […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminMarch 27, 2012

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – White House Press Secretary Jay Carney tells reporters that under no conditions will President Obama ever speak out against […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminFebruary 8, 2012

BREAKING NEWS – Denver, Colorado – After having his big wins in Colorado, Minnesota, and Missouri, GOP candidate Rick Santorum is seen contacting the U.S. […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminAugust 17, 2011

BREAKING NEWS – Chatfield, Minnesota – The Secret Service and the police had to restrain some grammar school students from injuring President Obama, after their […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminJuly 26, 2011

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – The rift between the President and Vice President has gotten bigger according to a White House source. Biden was […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminFebruary 8, 2011

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – Midway through an interview, President Obama gestures with his thumb, that Bill O’Reilly will have to hitchhike home. He […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminOctober 15, 2010

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – President Obama and Michelle, and former President George Bush and Laura were photographed moments before they all got into […]

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