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PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS (ASSUMING YOU LIKE REALLY BAD ADVICE) ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

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Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminApril 4, 2024

BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – Former ESPN broadcaster Keith Olbermann took a swipe at Sage Steele on social media after Steele […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminApril 3, 2024

BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – ESPN star Stephen A. Smith snapped back at former Democrat presidential nominee Hillary Clinton, who told […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminJanuary 4, 2024

BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – Rev. Al Sharpton took heat from ex-ESPN host Sage Steele after he claimed Harvard President Claudine […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminApril 4, 2023

BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – NBA legend Shaquille O’Neal took aim at former ESPN anchor Keith Olbermann on social media Sunday […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminMarch 10, 2023

BREAKING NEWS – Denver, Colorado – Basketball Hall of Famer Charles Barkley ripped into Kendrick Perkins’ suggestion that race plays a role in NBA MVP […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminFebruary 13, 2023

BREAKING NEWS – Burbank, California – Disney’s Bob Iger is planning to lay off 7,000 employees in a ‘significant transformation’ to cut back costs as […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminMay 11, 2022

BREAKING NEWS – Lyon, France – Last August, Lyon demoted Marcelo Vieira da Silva, a 34-year-old defender from Brazil who goes only by his first […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminApril 29, 2022

BREAKING NEWS – Bristol, Connecticut – Left-wing journalist Keith Olbermann has offered to help ESPN management in its legal battle with Sage Steele, who is […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminNovember 17, 2021

BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – Fox News was the only basic cable network to average 1 million viewers, finishing the week […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminOctober 14, 2021

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – DeMaurice Smith, the executive director of the NFL Players Association, is curious about what else is in the treasure […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminJuly 15, 2021

BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – CNN’s “New Day” hosted by outspoken liberal Brianna Keilar almost became “New Low” last week when […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminJuly 6, 2021

BREAKING NEWS – Bristol, Connecticut – Rachel Nichols apologized to ESPN colleague Maria Taylor on air after a leaked audio clip revealed Nichols, who is […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminApril 7, 2021

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – President Biden said that Georgia needs to “smarten up” to avoid businesses leaving the state over its new voting […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminJuly 31, 2020

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – Sen. Marsha Blackburn, R-Tenn., is taking aim at the NBA after a new bombshell report claimed that the sports […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminFebruary 21, 2020

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – After watching ESPN, Congresswoman Maxine Waters is now demanding a congressional investigation, alleging racism. “From what I have seen, […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminFebruary 11, 2019

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – Former ESPN host Jemele Hill who now writes for The Atlantic, deleted a tweet in which, describing what a […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminAugust 31, 2018

BREAKING NEWS – Bristol, Connecticut – ESPN’s Max Kellerman said on “First Take” that Tiger Woods’ response to questions about President Trump made him “angry.” […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminAugust 16, 2018

BREAKING NEWS – Los Angeles, California – NBA legend Kobe Bryant’s investment in upstart sports drink brand BodyArmor spiked in value after Coca-Cola acquired a […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminJuly 10, 2018

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – Conservative commentator Candace Owens challenged ESPN star Jemele Hill to a debate on racism after accusing the former “SportsCenter” […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminMarch 30, 2018

BREAKING NEWS – Bristol, Connecticut – The former president of ESPN said he resigned from the sports network after an extortion plot by someone who […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminMarch 7, 2018

BREAKING NEWS – Bristol, Connecticut – ESPN’s former anchor and legal analyst Adrienne Lawrence filed a bombshell sexual harassment and discrimination lawsuit filled with lurid […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminFebruary 13, 2018

BREAKING NEWS – Santa Clara, California – The San Francisco 49ers announced they have signed Jimmy Garoppolo to a five-year contract extension through the 2022 […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminDecember 12, 2017

BREAKING NEWS – Los Angeles, California – LiAngelo and LaMelo Ball have reached an agreement to sign professional basketball deals with Lithuanian club Prienu Vytautas, […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminDecember 6, 2017

BREAKING NEWS – Los Angeles, California – LaVar Ball the father of UCLA basketball guard LiAngelo Ball, says he plans to withdraw his son from […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminNovember 2, 2017

BREAKING NEWS – Bristol, Connecticut – ESPN is planning another round of layoffs just six months after the network fired more than 100 employees, Sporting […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminOctober 11, 2017

BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – Al Sharpton says he’s ready to call for a boycott over ESPN’s suspension of Jemele Hill […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminOctober 10, 2017

BREAKING NEWS – Bristol, Connecticut – Jemele Hill, an ESPN anchor who called for fans to boycott the NFL, has been suspended for two weeks […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminSeptember 19, 2017

BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – Al Sharpton has boldly stated that ESPN will face the “wrath” of the civil rights community […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminSeptember 15, 2017

BREAKING NEWS – BREAKING NEWS – Bristol, Connecticut – ESPN‘s handling of its latest controversy offers fresh evidence that the network will punish employees for […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminAugust 23, 2017

BREAKING NEWS – Charlottesville, Virginia – In the wake of the events in Charlottesville, Va., ESPN decided to pull one of its announcers from calling […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminAugust 4, 2017

BREAKING NEWS – Los Angeles, California – Congresswoman Maxine Waters calls out ESPN for a cartoon image of NBA superstars LeBron James, Carmelo Anthony, Dwayne […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminJuly 25, 2017

BREAKING NEWS – Silver Spring, Maryland – Michael Phelps tried to make it clear to his fans that he wouldn’t actually be side-by-side racing a […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminJuly 24, 2017

BREAKING NEWS – Charlotte, North Carolina – Pro-Trump gays Have been banned from the city’s gay pride parade. “Gays for Trump” had submitted an application […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminMay 4, 2017

BREAKING NEWS – Kingsport, Tennessee – A woman uses baseball bat to fight off a robber. According to Kingsport Police, the victim answered a knock […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminApril 27, 2017

BREAKING NEWS – Bristol, Connecticut – ESPN lays off about 100 employees, including on-air talent. The memo, from ESPN President John Skipper, noted that the […]

Featured, Weekends

Blake’s Advice Column

by: adminFebruary 11, 2017

Dear Blake, I am 65 years confined to a wheelchair, and I live in an upscale assisted living home which is very expensive. Here’s the […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminJuly 5, 2016

BREAKING NEWS – Oakland, California – Steph Curry is now blaming Golden State coach Steve Kerr for losing the NBA Championship. Curry was openly angry […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminJune 7, 2016

BREAKING NEWS – Bristol, Connecticut – “ESPN Magazine” senior writer Howard Bryant argued in his latest column that police officers should not sing the national […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminJanuary 6, 2016

BREAKING NEWS – Columbia, Missouri – The University of Missouri professor who called for “some muscle” to toss a reporter out of a demonstration on […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminApril 17, 2015

BREAKING NEWS – Arlington, Virginia – ESPN reporter Britt McHenry has been suspended for a week after video surfaced of her berating a parking lot […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminDecember 19, 2013

BREAKING NEWS – St. Louis, Missouri – ESPN refuses to run a Christmas tv ad from the Children’s Medical Center because during the commercial spot, […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminAugust 21, 2013

BREAKING NEWS – Williamsport, Pennsylvania – Mathematicians and ESPN have jointly calculated the odds on the future of the players from the 16 teams in […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminJanuary 11, 2013

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – The National Organization of Women (NOW) is outraged at ESPN’s Brent Musburger for commenting on how attractive Alabama quarterback […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminDecember 26, 2012

BREAKING NEWS – Las Vegas, Nevada – According to an upcoming documentary on ESPN, former boxer Mike Tyson has dramatically changed over the years. The […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminOctober 11, 2012

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – Vice President Joe Biden accuses the NBA of racism for not letting enough African-American players in their league. He […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminMarch 28, 2011

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – According to White House Press Secretary Jay Carney, President Obama is so angry at the losses of his NCAA […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminJanuary 25, 2011

BREAKING NEWS – Bristol, Connecticut – According to ESPN, a group of cross-dressing men say they will continue to picket the NHRA until they give […]

Breaking News & World History, Featured

BREAKING NEWS

by: adminDecember 10, 2010

BREAKING NEWS – According to ESPN and Sports Illustrated, Hall of Famer and former L.A. Laker center Jabbar, has decided to freeze some of his […]

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